|
 |
|
|
Behavior Information |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Smartmouth
Action: Identify causes of misbehavior.
Pinpoint student needs being revealed.
Employ specific methods, procedures, and techniques at school and at home for getting the child to modify or change his/her behavior.
- Primary Causes of Misbehavior
- Power
This person may already have accepted him/herself as a failure, but still has a strong urge for power.
- Revenge
The smartmouth may be demonstrating hate through the language he/she uses.
- Primary Needs Being Revealed
- Escape from Pain
The smartmouth is usually experiencing a great deal of pain at school and in the home.
- Secondary Needs Being Revealed
- Aggression
This student needs to learn how to be assertive without striking out verbally against people.
- Power
Somehow this student needs to feel a sense of positive power.
- Status
This person feels he/she becomes "somebody" by obtaining attention through verbal abuse.
- This student never gets what he/she wants: acceptance and respect. And there's an obvious reason, even though the student never sees it. That's why private counseling is a must. In private, let the student talk about his/her anger. Ask, "Why are you angry?"
- Then, talk to the student about two subjects: hurt and trust. Say, "You don't want to hurt people-why do you?" Then explain why-because he/she can't trust. Talk with the student about why he/she is afraid to trust. You'll find the answers will give you an entirely new perspective.
- Next, ask the student to try trusting you. Also, ask if you can help. Keep in mind, this will take time.
- Because this student probably thinks he/she is getting the short end of the stick, help redirect his/her behavior and claims of superiority by forcing the student away from his/her protective shield.
- Don't challenge this student. Rather, ask the student to demonstrate his/her true abilities through classroom activities.
- Don't attempt to force your ideas on the student or to be dogmatic.
- Don't contradict what the student tells you. Just listen. And never, never argue.
- Most important, unless you are pushed to the point at which silence is impossible, do not respond in front of the class. Remember, a public response is what this student expects. In the student's eyes, such a response is a betrayal of your trust. Privately, show the student that you aren't violating the trust-he/she is. This one revelation can make this student change.
- Treat this student in a professional manner always, but develop a personal relationship too. This means you must risk involvement.
- At every opportunity, simply pull the facade away, never becoming a smartmouth yourself. If the student talks back, don't make a retort that will reinforce the student's feeling of weakness. Only positive, professional, friendly counseling can make this student move away from the negative behavior.
- Finally, find an activity that allows the student to get rid of his/her anger. And tell the student what you are doing. Such an outlet can make changing behavior easier for the student.
- Be aware that you can easily get into a win/lose situation when dealing with this student, by taking the student's abuse personally. Remember, he/she talks this way to everyone.
- When you find it necessary to punish a student, be sure you are making an adjustment to whatever is causing the behavior, and that the student is included in the adjustment process. For example, in the case of the smartmouth, discuss with the student the possibility that it might help if he/she moved closer to your desk. If the student says it isn't necessary, allow the privilege. Keep this idea in mind: If the student can correct the situation, fine; if not, you'll have to move him/her. Experience will show that if you simply change the seats without including the student in the adjustment process, he/she will not assume any responsibility in the new seat. The student might even regard the problem as the teacher's rather than his/her own. Then, nothing is learned, and the behavior does not change.
|
|
|
|
|
|
