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Behavior Information |
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The Forgetter
Action: Identify causes of misbehavior.
Pinpoint student needs being revealed.
Employ specific methods, procedures, and techniques at school and at home for getting the child to modify or change his/her behavior.
- Primary Causes of Misbehavior
- Attention
This student really does enjoy the attention, even if it is for a negative behavior.
- Power
The student displays a form of power by continually forgetting. He/she may feel a sense of power when adults are frustrated in attempting to deal with his/her forgetting.
- Primary Needs Being Revealed
- Hunger
- Rest
A deficiency in these primary needs may lead to forgetfulness.
- Sexuality
A desire for recognition by others may cause such behavior.
- Escape from Pain
Fear of failure with peers, parents, and/or teachers may cause such behavior.
- Secondary Needs Being Revealed
- Achievement
Appreciation by others may lead to improvement of the forgetter's behavior.
- Autonomy
Receiving affirmation for tasks completed will help this student gain control of him/herself in a positive manner.
- Look for ways to change the behavior that will be effective while creating as little turmoil in the classroom as possible.
- First, make adjustments. Provide needed material when possible.
- Second, follow up. Have a meeting on the student's time, rather than on class time.
- Think tiny consequences rather than big punishments. Then, suggest ideas that will help the student overcome the forgetting.
- Let other students help remind this student.
- Many teachers dislike lending pencils and other supplies. Some even forbid borrowing. Though we are all familiar with the consistent violator, making absolute rules regarding these necessities can cause many problems. In truth, enforcing these kinds of rules often causes more disturbance than the lending and borrowing. Sometimes, in our efforts to teach responsibility, we overlook some common life practices. Borrowing is a part of life. It is not wrong to borrow-it is wrong not to pay back. This is what our teachings should promote. Many simple classroom procedures can be used to handle this everyday occurrence without disturbance while providing a learning experience. One such successful approach is to keep a box of pencils that have been found, and have students put an IOU or something they value in the box when taking a pencil. When they return the pencil or repay the box with another one, they can reclaim the possession or tear up the IOU. If no pencils remain, none can be lent. Then, they must get one from a friend. In this manner, even the constant violator can be handled privately. Remember, even outside school some are not allowed the privilege of borrowing because they have a record of nonpayment. This is another lesson students need to know.
- Don't interrupt class. Provide materials quietly.
- Getting students to be on time or to remember to keep their appointments has long been another problem for teachers and parents alike. None of us is unfamiliar with the age-old excuse, "I forgot the time-that's why I'm late." You'll find students will be less likely to forget meeting times if the stated time is unusual. Next time you make an appointment, try telling the student you will meet at 4:03 p.m., or 3:18 p.m. It works-with colleagues too.
- Assign special tasks to this student to help him/her develop a sense of responsibility.
- Accept apologies from the student graciously, but have a personal and private conference with him/her about responsibility each time that forgetting occurs.
- Work with parents to ensure that the forgetting behavior is not perpetuated at home.
- Set down definite rules for what will happen after a given period of time if the student continues to forget his/her materials. Make the rules fair and reasonable, and then carry them out.
- When counseling, choose your words with care. Say, "What did we say?" rather than "I told you that ..." Then, make the student relate what he/she was supposed to remember. Revoke a privilege for each such incident, and then return the privilege when the student succeeds in behaving responsibly.
- Don't make a big deal out of this behavior. Be patient and realize that change will not be quick; the student will forget again. Nevertheless, your counseling is a must. Help the student begin a long-term self-improvement program.
- Don't allow yourself to get mad about his/her forgetting, and don't take it personally.
- Remind the student of what he/she will need. You might even give the student a note. This is a form of attention.
- Keep an actual count of how many times he/she doesn't bring materials. Remember, improvement is your goal.
- How many times have you heard a teacher say, "I talk . . . and talk . . . and talk to him- but it never does any good. He doesn't hear a word I say." Yes he does-he just chooses to forget. However, this teacher's problem is that he/she talks too much. When talking to a child about misbehavior, a teacher can find it very difficult to put that conversation on a positive basis. Because most such conversations are by necessity negative, a teacher must realize that any talk beyond the minimum is, indeed, wasted. Remember to keep such conversations clear and short, and you will receive a better response. Students not only will listen better-but also will be more likely to remember what is said. People, whether children or adults, "turn off" when somebody drives a point into the ground. Many times, everything said is forgotten-even the major points.
- Work out a contract with the student for rewards. Thus, when the student remembers, he/she is recognized.
- Never ask this student to remember more than two items. The true forgetter finds this extremely difficult.
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