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Four Steps Model
Step 1: Identify the Behavior
Step 2: Understand the Effects
Step 3: Identify the Cause
Step 4: Avoid Mistakes

Related Behaviors
The Angry
The Bully
The Defier
The Influencer
The Overly Aggressive
You Can Handle Them All

Secondary Needs Being Revealed

Besides the physical primary needs we are all born with, we also have secondary needs, which are psychological and learned. Remember, all humans have each of these needs, just in different degrees depending on our personalities. When we can meet our secondary needs, we can work toward goals and improve our self-concept.

The secondary needs are a strong motivating force in all our lives—yet they are immaterial until the primary needs have been met. It’s very hard to concentrate on learning the multiplication tables when you’re hungry. Children will try very hard to meet secondary needs in a positive manner in the classroom and school if possible, without misbehaving. However, if they can’t meet these needs in a good way, many children will try negative ways—misbehavior—to get those needs met.

To help children adjust their behavior, parents must appeal to those needs held in high esteem by their child. Rather than fight those needs, we need to meet them. Too often, we think these needs are abnormal. They are not! Only the intensity of the need varies from child to child—and from adult to adult. If we fight fulfillment of a need, we can cause a child to fight us—automatically.

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