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Four Steps Model
Step 1: Identify the Behavior
Step 2: Understand the Effects
Step 3: Identify the Cause
Step 4: Avoid Mistakes

Related Behaviors
The Angry
The Bully
The Defier
The Influencer
The Overly Aggressive
You Can Handle Them All

Secondary Needs Being Revealed


Children need to assert themselves. Parents must allow children to fulfill this need; otherwise, parents may find themselves being forced into confrontations for no particular reason. Include the child in certain decisions, involve the child in planning activities, and give the child responsibility for choosing certain courses of action the family may take. Letting a child with strong aggression have some control will go a long way toward channeling this tendency in positive ways.

Many children feel they have no say in anything, that no one listens to them or lets them be in charge of anything. For them, it is a terrible and helpless feeling. It doesn’t mean the parents always have to do what the child demands! What it does mean is that the parent must listen to the child. The aggression need can often be met by just listening to and considering the child’s point of view. It can be that simple.

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