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Behaviors At Home

Secondary Needs Being Revealed


People need to know what’s going on. For some, it’s a driving force. Sometimes, we think our children are being nosy, and we brush them off. That’s a big mistake!

Children are motivated by the need to know. It is a motivation that enhances positive behavior and learning. Think about how curious babies are and how much they learn about their world by exploring it. People never lose that need to be “in the know.”

Our children also need to know how we feel about them—both as people and as our children. This is one reason parents must constantly be talking to their children and answering their questions. (Many parents have discovered the value of “car time” for keeping in touch with their kids. Car rides to and from school, soccer, piano lessons, or the grocery store are great opportunities to answer lots of questions your kids have about you and the world in general.)

These talks with our children should reveal the “whys” behind what we are doing and the decisions we have made for the family. Fulfilling the need to know can promote positive behavior. You will show respect and consideration for your child when you satisfy his or her need to know what’s going on and that will help cut down on misbehavior.

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Please Note
We are labeling behaviors, not children! For the sake of convenience, we will describe behaviors with terms such as The Whiner or The Interrupter.

Never use such labels when talking to—or about—children! Doing so could cause many new problems and seriously damage the teacher-student or parent-child relationship.