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Behavior Information |
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The Smart Aleck
Action: Why is my child behaving this way, what unmet needs does he or she have, and what specific things can I do to help him or her behave better?
- Primary Causes of Misbehavior
- Revenge
This child really enjoys getting a reaction from other children.
- Self-Confidence
Insecurity is sometimes revealed by a false show of superiority.
- Primary Needs Being Revealed
- Escape from Pain
Any type of failure can be very painful. When people are in pain, they may seek to hurt others.
- Secondary Needs Being Revealed
- Aggression
This child is asserting himself or herself, but is doing so in a negative manner.
- Power
This child's need for power must be redirected to a positive outlet.
- Never respond with a smart-aleck remark in return. Often, when a child makes an uncalled-for remark, he or she is searching for—and expecting—your response. Your response may give the child exactly what he or she wants—parent and peer attention. You may be encouraging the child to continue the behavior.
- Instead of reacting, just ignore some of these smart-aleck remarks.
- At other times, respond, "I would like to continue this conversation privately later." This may also prove effective.
- Be aware, however, that responding to misplaced remarks with silence—and especially without appearing sarcastic and vindictive—will often sober children more quickly than anything else you might do. Ignoring the smart aleck's antics deflates him or her completely. This child can't stand silence. It brings out his or her real feelings of inferiority. This then renders the child ready for parent guidance. Treat this child in a completely objective and intellectual manner. At every opportunity, simply show you're not affected, and never stoop to being a smart aleck yourself. If the child talks back, don't give in to the urge to make a "smart" remark that could reinforce this child's feelings of weakness.
- Challenge the child to demonstrate his or her abilities through participation in activities. Say, "Why don't you try to find out just how good you are?" In a caring rather than hostile way, make the child abandon the protective shield and live up to his or her claims of superiority.
- Arrange a conference with your child's teacher. This is a must. Remember, the teacher is experiencing the same behavior at school.
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