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Behaviors At Home

The Defier

Behavior: How exactly is my child behaving?

  • Openly challenges parents or teachers at almost every opportunity.

  • Talks back.

  • Dares punishment.

  • Usually appears unaffected by what parent says or does—and may even laugh at it.

  • May even refuse to accept punishment.

  • Usually overly critical of parent's sense of fairness.

  • Quick to claim injustice by saying, "Nobody likes me." Thus, extremely conscious and critical of parent's treatment of him or her.

  • Does not appear to feel very good about himself or herself; seems to think he or she is not being treated well by others, including siblings, other children, parents, and teachers.

  • Loses sight of the fact that his or her behavior is actually the reason for what is happening in relationships with other people.

  • Has little self-control.

  • Often highly emotional.

  • Tries to rationalize or justify what's happening as someone else's fault.

  • Picks fights with siblings or other children—in addition to taunting parents. Picks fights at school too—over the smallest of incidents, which he or she claims are significant.

List of Behaviors

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Please Note
We are labeling behaviors, not children! For the sake of convenience, we will describe behaviors with terms such as The Whiner or The Interrupter.

Never use such labels when talking to—or about—children! Doing so could cause many new problems and seriously damage the teacher-student or parent-child relationship.