The Defier

Behavior: How exactly is my child behaving?

• Openly challenges parents or teachers at almost every opportunity.
  
  
• Talks back.
  
  
• Dares punishment.
  
  
• Usually appears unaffected by what parent says or does—and may even laugh at it.
  
  
• May even refuse to accept punishment.
  
  
• Usually overly critical of parent's sense of fairness.
  
  
• Quick to claim injustice by saying, "Nobody likes me." Thus, extremely conscious and critical of parent's treatment of him or her.
  
  
• Does not appear to feel very good about himself or herself; seems to think he or she is not being treated well by others, including siblings, other children, parents, and teachers.
  
  
• Loses sight of the fact that his or her behavior is actually the reason for what is happening in relationships with other people.
  
  
• Has little self-control.
  
  
• Often highly emotional.
  
  
• Tries to rationalize or justify what's happening as someone else's fault.
  
  
• Picks fights with siblings or other children—in addition to taunting parents. Picks fights at school too—over the smallest of incidents, which he or she claims are significant.